Percy gives Nico 'The Talk.'

“DIE! DIE! DIE!” Nico cried, slamming his toy skeleton through the neatly arranged toy soldiers on his floor.

“Uhh Nico?” Percy asked; tip toeing into the Hades cabin, his hands behind his back and his cheeks a hot pink colour. Nico looked up from the game he was playing and turned an irritated glance towards his older cousin, how dare he interrupt his game.

“Yes?” He demanded.

“Well Annabeth thinks…I think…you’re 12 now right?”

“I was 13 in January.” Nico reminded him.

“Right yeah 13 that’s what I said.” Percy said waving away the comment and sitting on the floor next to the younger boy. He run a hand through his hair nervously and sighed. “You’ve had the talk right?” Nico looked at him blankly.

“The talk?”

“Yeah…like the birds and the bees.”

“Percy are you feeling alright? Why are you mumbling about birds and bees?”

“Nico…do you know how babies are made?” Nico cocked an eyebrow at Percy and rolled his eyes.

“Of course I know how they’re made Percy, I’m not stupid. The stalk delivers them to mummies and daddies.” Percy’s jaw dropped to the floor.

“Are you being serious?”

“Well my childhood wasn’t exactly filled with school and learning and stuff. I was practically brought up in the Lotus Casino!”

“Ok, ok!” Percy raised his hands to calm the quickly angered son of Hades. Percy took a deep breath and began his tale:

“At some point you might find yourself with a girlfriend…or a boyfriend…”

“Are you trying to get me to come out?” Nico asked. “Cos I don’t swing that way.”

“No I was just…you’re going to fall in love.” Percy clarified. “And when you do you may get strong feelings towards the other person. One day, you may want to take the next steps with them, you’ll want to go beyond kissing. You’ll feel your…”

THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLOCKED TO PROTECT ALL THE LITTLE KIDDIES FROM THE HORROR!

“…some people do it for fun; some people do it to makes babies. Now any questions?” Percy had gone beet red and was looking down at his anxiously shacking hands in his lap.

“Oh I’m sorry Percy I didn’t realise you meant the sex talk, yeah Connor and Travis gave it to me back when I was staying in their cabin. You don’t stay innocent for long with them around.” Nico shrugged.

“You…you already knew…”

“Yep.” Nico told him. Standing from the floor and brushing dust away from his pants.

“But…you said…”

“Yep, my gods Percy you should have seen your face, if you’d gone any redder you’d have exploded.” And with that Nico grinned and legged it away from the cabin. Realising he had just been had, and humiliated by his younger cousin Percy jumped up.

“NICO DI FREAKING ANGELO I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”